Control
by DarkJediJade
Summary: Fic written as a dare. Weirdest possible pairing ever. I am somewhat mortified I wrote this.


_A/N: Ok, this is about as cracked as crack fic gets. I was dared to write this, and well, never one to turn down a dare… I did. Much whiskey was consumed in the process of writing this. Please excuse any typos. It was getting hard to focus around the end. o-o Picks up right after this scene._

_PALPATINE: But what Senator would have the courage to propose such a radical amendment?_

_MAS AMEDDA: If only Senator Amidala were here._

_JAR JAR steps forward from the back of the group._

_JAR JAR: Mesa mosto Supreme Chancellor... Mesa gusto pallos. Mesa proud to proposing the motion to give yousa Honor emergency powers._

_Please don't kill me for writing this. XD_

* * *

Palpatine smiled, being sure to look genuine for the sake of all those in the room, but inwardly he smirked at how easily the gungan was manipulated. A thought crossed his mind and he wondered just _exactly how much_ he could bend Jar Jar to his will. He decided to test his theory… but first to get rid of the pesky politicians and Jedi. "JarJar, you honour me greatly." he said smoothly. Turning to the others in the room Palpatine gave a nod "I fear I must return to my work. I will see you all later at the Senate meeting where we can discuss this further." he said dismissively. Mas Amedda and Ask Aak caught his eye as they left, apparently suspecting the true reasons for their abrupt dismissal. Palpatine gave them the subtlest of nods, and each fell into step beside the Jedi Master Yoda and Bail Organa steering them well away and leaving Palpatine alone with Jar Jar. As Jar Jar made to follow the group, Palpatine touched his hand to the gungan's arm lightly. "A moment if you will Senator Jar Jar." he said.

"Yes mista Supreme Chancellor?" Jar Jar asked.

"I wonder if I might invite you to dinner for your ah, kind support of me." Palpatine said smoothly, sliding his hand down Jar Jar's arm.

"Mesa would be honoured sir!" the gungan said. Palpatine smiled.

"Wonderful! Come by my apartments in a couple hours." he said.

* * *

Jar Jar knocked on the door of Palpatine's apartments. A wonderfully delicious smell was wafting through as the door slid open. "Come in Jar Jar." Palpatine called.

"Oh mooi mooi disa smells good!" Jar Jar said.

"I'm glad you think so. Ah nothing like Naboo cooking." Palpatine sighed wistfully as he poured some wine for them. As they ate, Palpatine kept plying the gungan with more wine and eventually some Corellian whiskey. Once he was confident that Jar Jar was well and truly relaxed he made his move. Reaching across the table he entwined his fingers with the gungan. "I wonder if I might thank you further… more personally." he said, trailing his fingers up Jar Jar's arm.

"Is yousa askin what I think yousa askin?" Jar Jar asked startled.

"Mmm… it depends what you think I am asking." Palpatine responded, sliding his hand back down Jar Jar's arm and to his hand, pulling him gently towards his sleeping quarters. Catching where they were going Jar Jar smiled.

"Mesa would be honoured." he said.

"Good… gooood." Palpatine said, letting a little of Sidious slip, but the gungan was too intoxicated to notice. Sliding the vest from Jar Jar's shoulder's he ran his hands over the gungan's well muscled torso.

"Oh mesa likes dat." Jar Jar said. Palpatine smirked as he moved his hands to unfasten the gunman's pants, letting them drop to the floor. Dispensing with his own outer robes, Palpatine steered Jar Jar to the bed as he pondered the best way to… mount this obstical. Placing his hands on the gungan's back he bent him over, using his foot to spread the gungan's legs. "Oh yousa bombad!" Jar Jar said.

"More than you know…" Palpatine cackled. "More then you know…" he said, spanking Jar Jar as he thrust.

"Oh mooi mooi mesa mesa gonnna…" Jar Jar moaned and Palpatine gave a grunt of satisfaction. After giving them both a few moments to recover Palpatine slipped his robes back on.

"Well look at the time. It's almost time for the senate meeting. I trust you are relaxed." he purred winking.

"Oh mesa very welaxed." Jar Jar said as he did up his pants. "Mesa ready to face da senate now to grants yousa emergency powers"

"Good." Palpatine said as Jar Jar strode from the room. "Gooood" he cackled as he stood in the room alone. Making sure everything was straightened he followed the gungan to the senate hall, looking forward to taking the next steps in ridding the galaxy of democracy, more confidant then ever he could control the stupid gungan


End file.
